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Tuesday, 26 August 2008 |
This week we have a bevy of good movies out on DVD that are more than worth your hard-earned time and money. "What Happens in Vegas" is not one of them.
   Cameron Diaz. This fetid pile of hacky contrived garbage brings together the two most annoying and completely unlikeable actors in the history of 21st century comedy, Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. And yes, I'm calling Cameron Diaz an actor because judging from her rapidly declined good looks, drag-queen makeup and "eric roberts-like" chin, I'm assuming she's pre-op.
To sum up the brilliance and ingenuity of the plot, these two "teen bait" idiots somehow manage to get married during a drunk night in Las Vegas. Then, to further complicate the story, they win a ton of money, which... you know what? No. I'm not even going to bother. This is a horrible movie made for vapid and sheeplike people and not only should it not be watched, I'm actually going to go one step further and say that if, at any time in the near future, you have the opportunity to destroy a copy of this "film" you'd be doing the world a great favor by doing so. Hell, send me pictures. |
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Tuesday, 19 August 2008 |
Say what you will about 3D, I'm not buying. Until the technology exists to allow audiences to experience true three-dimensional entertainment without polarized glasses or headgear, I'm relegating this to the "gimmick" department.
 Speaking of gimmicks - Mylie Cyrus and her less-inhibited rockstar alter-ego Chris Gaines are the stars of this week's tersely titled "Hannah Montana/Mylie Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour". Miley, the latest demonspawn to be stillbirthed out of the grand oily Disney tweenmachine, screeches and hisses her way through every song and impishly prances around behind the scenes like your typical "Well Shucks, I'm just a role model for average teen girls for now, but once I hit 18 I'll be snorting cocaine off of a lesbian illegal immigrant while downing Jaegerbombs and crashing my $100 thousand dollar car into my illigitimate children's daddy" starlet.
Look for this DVD (and Cyrus's reputation) to eventually come crashing to the ground faster than a fat kid at breakfast. |
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