Login/Register
Deuceday DVDs: September 16th, 2008
Tuesday, 16 September 2008

I've come to grips with the fact that my opinion greatly differs from that of other reviewers. I like to think that my readers (yes, you) share my personal tastes or at the very least trust me enough to hear me out.

That being said, I present "The Love Guru". Trashed by pretty much every reviewer imaginable, I was expecting this movie to be horrible. Truly, truly horrible. After reading reviews in newspapers and the net, I was under the impression that this movie was nigh unwatchable.

After seeing it (and mostly enjoying it) I'd like to politely retort.

After sitting down and watching this movie, I just want to say this: "what the hell is wrong with some people"? While definitely not the best Mike Myers comedy ever made (probably not even top 5), "The Love Guru" still managed to keep me consistantly chuckling throughout the entire film, and even managed to crack me up a few times. And, like all his other movies, I still find myself quoting it on a semi-daily basis.
Continue reading this article...
 
Deuceday DVDs: September 9th, 2008
Tuesday, 09 September 2008

This week we have a kung fu flick that means well, rapping retards (maybe), and two re-releases that are a must-have for any respectable DVD library.

"The Forbidden Kingdom". As a massive kung fu flick fan (say that ten times fast) I was really looking forward to seeing this movie and while it may not be the best movie ever (far from it) it satisfies the one key rule of a good chopsocky movie: lots of cool fight scenes, lots of special effects.

And that's that. I've heard a lot of people were disappointed in this movie, but why? Seriously, it's a movie where a teenager travels to mythical China and Jackie Chan and Jet Li duke it out. That's pretty much all you need to know on this one. People who rent this looking for an intelligent plot or high quality drama need to have their heads examined.

While I would have liked to see the movie made a little differently (get rid of the teenager completely, film it 10 years ago while Chan and Li were in their primes), it doesn't detract from the fact that you get to see Jackie Chan as Drunken Master fight Jet Li from any of his "Shaolin" films - and that's all a movie like this really needs. It's a kung fu nerd Friday night debate come to life. I can't recommend buying it, but check it out if you need a heavy dose of wirework and tightly choreographed action.
Continue reading this article...
 
Deuceday DVDs: September 2nd, 2008
Tuesday, 02 September 2008

Yet another slow week on the DVD front. We have two vastly different TV-on-DVD entries this week and a Direct-to-Video animated movie that was actually, truthfully quite good. I know, I'm as surprised as you are.

First up is "Eli Stone: The Complete First Season". Okay, now don't get me wrong here: I really want to like Jonny Lee Miller. I've watched "Hackers" more times than is probably healthy, I thought he was pretty good in "Trainspotting"... I'm even ashamed to say that he was probably the best part of "Dracula 2000" (yes, I was the one person who actually watched Dracula 2000).

But this show? Not so much.

I gave it a chance. It was on after Lost, it looked like it had a unique premise ("jerky lawyer is either a prophet of God, or has a brain tumor that is giving him hallucinations") and yes, it had Jonny Lee Miller in it. However, with all this in it's corner, Eli Stone just didn't deliver the way I thought it would. What started out as an interesting idea basically devolved into a hacky combination of "My Name is Earl" meets "Ally McBeal"... kind of a "My Name is Ally McBearl". Whatever you want to call it, call it a rental at best (and only if you've worn through your copy of Hackers for the fourth time like I have).
Continue reading this article...
 
Deuceday DVDs: August 26th, 2008
Tuesday, 26 August 2008

This week we have a bevy of good movies out on DVD that are more than worth your hard-earned time and money. "What Happens in Vegas" is not one of them.

Cameron Diaz. Seriously.
Cameron Diaz.
This fetid pile of hacky contrived garbage brings together the two most annoying and completely unlikeable actors in the history of 21st century comedy, Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. And yes, I'm calling Cameron Diaz an actor because judging from her rapidly declined good looks, drag-queen makeup and "eric roberts-like" chin, I'm assuming she's pre-op.

To sum up the brilliance and ingenuity of the plot, these two "teen bait" idiots somehow manage to get married during a drunk night in Las Vegas. Then, to further complicate the story, they win a ton of money, which... you know what? No. I'm not even going to bother. This is a horrible movie made for vapid and sheeplike people and not only should it not be watched, I'm actually going to go one step further and say that if, at any time in the near future, you have the opportunity to destroy a copy of this "film" you'd be doing the world a great favor by doing so. Hell, send me pictures.
Continue reading this article...
 
Deuceday DVDs: August 19th, 2008
Tuesday, 19 August 2008

Say what you will about 3D, I'm not buying. Until the technology exists to allow audiences to experience true three-dimensional entertainment without polarized glasses or headgear, I'm relegating this to the "gimmick" department.

Speaking of gimmicks - Mylie Cyrus and her less-inhibited rockstar alter-ego Chris Gaines are the stars of this week's tersely titled "Hannah Montana/Mylie Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour".  Miley, the latest demonspawn to be stillbirthed out of the grand oily Disney tweenmachine, screeches and hisses her way through every song and impishly prances around behind the scenes like your typical "Well Shucks, I'm just a role model for average teen girls for now, but once I hit 18 I'll be snorting cocaine off of a lesbian illegal immigrant while downing Jaegerbombs and crashing my $100 thousand dollar car into my illigitimate children's daddy" starlet.

Look for this DVD (and Cyrus's reputation) to eventually come crashing to the ground faster than a fat kid at breakfast.
Continue reading this article...