| Pirates of the Caribbean: At Wits End |
| Saturday, 26 May 2007 | |
I just finished watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End and it is by far the best movie I have ever seen. From start to epic finish, this is a masterwork in comedy, drama, and action. Everything locks into place at the end and completes the trilogy in the best possible way. I just can't say enough good things about it. It is the greatest movie of our generation. ... NOT!!! (Haha, suckers. Totally had you there for a moment, didn't I?) As I left the theater after watching Pirates 3, I couldn't help but notice the smell. It seemed familiar. Pungent, disgusting, nauseating. It was like the whole theater was drenched in the stench. I could actually taste it in my mouth, that's how horrible the smell was. I couldn't help but think that I had smelled it before somewhere... but where? Oh that's right: It's the fetid stench of corporate greed. ![]() The next person who laughs at my iron balls gets stabbed. Here's the rundown: The first scenes of the movie take place in Singapore, without so much of an explanation as to how they all got down there in the first place. This annoys me to no end because it feels like they skipped quite a bit of story to get there. They don't have a crew or a boat, but yet they're way over there in Singapore. Ok, sure. Then, it's just a long string of humor scene, special effects, battle, humor scene, special effects, humor scene. On and on and on. I think they were trying to lead everything up to the final battle, but because the final battle fell flat, all of it did. Johnny Depp, who was stellar in the last two is turned into the Pauley Shore of the high seas in this installment. He's only there to utter silly one-liners and prance around crazily. This should never, ever happen to a character as good as Jack Sparrow. We also get "treated" to a look inside Jack's mind, courtesy of Jack dopplegangers that only he can see. This device has never worked, will never work. Plus, the mind clones look like they were shot against a high school video club's $16 green screen. The Kraken is dead, and they devote a total of ONE SINGLE LINE regarding how and why. Why, that's awfully convenient, isn't it? They introduce Chow Yun Fat as a new pirate captain that hates Jack Sparrow for a completely vague reason that's never revealed and they only introduce him so that he can die later on in the movie. And after all that, I would still forgive the movie if it weren't for one thing:
Sorry, this part is for members only and CONTAINS SPOILERS. If you'd like to read it, please LOG IN or REGISTER. So, those are my thoughts about it. I probably won't be picking this up on DVD when it comes out, and quite frankly I'm more than a little dissapointed in Disney. But then again, when am I not? Do you agree or disagree with this review? Post a comment below and let us know! Comments (10)
![]() ![]() liz wrote...
i wish i had read this b4 i wasted 3 hours of my life. It was like a bad parody of a good movie. Looks like they wasted the big money in dead mans chest and had to make do with half staff and shit effects. I could write a better plot, and im crap.
|| May 26, 2007
![]() Peter Sorensen wrote...
Thanks for the comment, liz!
I think the worst part is that they're talking about trying to make a fourth movie, but none of the actors want to return, so it may have a mostly new cast. Time for them to retire the franchise I think.
http://www.bleepinggeek.com || May 26, 2007
![]() Logan wrote...
You are so ignorant. You're desire to know all and have no imagination, which is Disneys number one goal, ruins the whole point of the Priates tradition. These movies were made for you to enjoy them, not bash them. It was a good movie, and maybe if your head wasn't so far up your ass then you would realize its not about knowing all. Thats why people hate the movies so much because they have their nose up in the air. Yall need to respect movies, and therorise about what will happen. Thats the whole fun of it. You make enjoyable things stupid when you try and be all high and mighty "all knowing" about the movie industry. The comedy was not cheezy, as the whole theater was laughing, and if you watched after the credits you might have got the whole point. But I think you left because of the stench you were imagining...odd, since you don't have one. If everyone was so upset with Disney, then why are they making so much money. Chew on that.
p.S. I would like to see you invent better computer graphics Mr. Perfect. They were great graphics. Go watch a history movie if you aren't willing to feel the magic.
http://none || May 28, 2007
![]() Peter Sorensen wrote...
Thanks for your comment, Logan!
You're correct in one thing: it's not about knowing it all. What it is about (or what it should be about in a theatrical sense) is completing a story arc in an entertaining way. The movie isn't a good movie. The movie panders to the lowest common denominator. It treats it's audience like idiots and spells everything out for them. The only thing it leaves to the imagination is what the next crappy sequel will be about. I thoroughly enjoyed Pirates 1. To a lesser degree, I enjoyed Pirates 2, even though the series had definitely been somewhat corrupted by that point by the "12 guys in a room" process. I have never claimed to be high and mighty, or "all knowing". I do know, however that after six and a half years of screenwriting experience, a lifetime of devoting myself to what makes a good story and what makes a bad story, and a career as a 3D animator, that I have a somewhat educated opinion on the matter. I don't expect everyone to share my opinions, that's why they are opinions. As such, my opinion that the writing was cheesy stands. There was none of the brilliant writing of the first movie, only rehashed jokes and lame one-liners. No one is upset with Disney. That's the point I'm making. This movie will make millions of dollars. So will the next one. And the next one, and so on. They will continue to make themselves fat and rich because people will watch anything as long as they're told it's good. As long as they believe the TV hype. As long as they think the people in the movie are good-looking. The audience was laughing, yes. But then again, people still laugh at America's Funniest Home Videos. It doesn't matter if the audience laughs at the movie if they'd just as soon laugh at people falling over or getting hit in the nuts or animals who "just look so goshdarn humanlike". The part at the end was ridiculous as well. Oooh, now they have a son too. Big woop. How many movie series can you name where they got better by giving the main characters a child? p.s. See above. I am fully aware of what it takes to do the CGI shots in this movie. Some (particularly the surface particle work in the maelstrom shots) was well-done and impressive. This only makes it worse when they can't even accomplish something as easy as a greenscreen composite. This is technology that was perfected ten years ago, and yet Disney (who has access to the best artists in the country) can't even match the lighting information correctly? In closing, Logan. I'm sorry that our opinions differ on this movie. I urge you, and everyone for that matter to look behind the gloss and promotion and take a second look at the movie NOT as a sequel to another movie you liked, NOT as a Disney film, but as a story. As a story, it is weak and rather bad.
http://www.bleepinggeek.com || May 28, 2007
![]() NikkiCain wrote...
Hey Logan, maybe if your head weren't so far up your ass you'd learn the proper use of the apostrophe. It's called English grammar, look into it.
|| May 29, 2007
![]() Barrett wrote...
I just went to go see this film and I couldn't agree with Peter more. It had pirates, swordfights, cannons, explosions, and an undead monkey, so it wasn't all bad. But there were some horrible parts. The multi-Jacks were the worst thing possible in a pirate movie: boring. The whole Calypso/Davy Jones plotline made no sense whatsoever. And the ending didn't just suck, it high-false-soprano-sucked. If Logan was "feeling the magic" then he must be Harry Freakin' Potter, because the ending was unsatisfying and anti-climactic to say the least.
|| June 16, 2007
![]() Peter wrote...
Thanks for the comment, Barrett!
I want an undead monkey. :( After giving the movie some time and a little more contemplation, I can only say that I hope that Pirates 4 is so amazing and well done that it makes up for this films lackluster story.
http://www.bleepinggeek.com || June 16, 2007
devcath wrote...
i totally agree with your review, the movie was so lame i fell asleep in the theater, missing at least half an hour and have absolutely no desire to see the entire thing.
|| October 24, 2007
![]() kat wrote...
NikkiCain, I believe that the grammatically correct statement would be 'maybe if your head wasn't so far up your ass.' Before correcting someone else's use of the apostrophe, you should double check your word usage!
|| December 29, 2007
![]() Michael Rose wrote...
Guys, let me preface this with letting you know i am writing this quick and without much grammatical consideration...as do most people in a blog..this is why i find it some what funny that when "logan" gave his opinion on a movie, you chose to attack his grammar nikkicain...i find this quite hilarious as hit did not work to bolster ANY relevent arguement here....i applaud kat...i found your comment to be very funny and displacing to the deserving nikkicain...now on to the main topic..more than anything i just wanted to clap my hands together for peter..the bantering that took place here was excellent...everything that logan so ignorantly claimed was not just disproved by your comments but rather completely destroyed!! I loved your tactful approach and the fact that you were actually everything logan claimed you werent..which i dont know how logan was wrong considering he has known you for so long right?? lol just kidding..anyway bravo once again..i hope your career is taking you places and you are enjoying it!! take care
-Michael
|| April 16, 2010
Write comment
You must be logged in to a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.
|