| Heroes: The Line |
| Sunday, 28 October 2007 | |
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I'm still waiting for this season to start getting good. It's official: Heroes is in a sophomore slump. Maybe it's the addition of so many new cast members, maybe it's the rushed scripts (rumor has it that the scripts were hurredly banked in preparation for the possible Writer's Guild strike at the end of this year), or maybe it's just a simple case of misunderstanding it's audience. Whatever the case, it can be said with great certainty that this season just can't compare to last season. Lights, Camera, Narrative Voice Over... Ok, one thing: the writers are dicks. At the beginning of the episode Ando rushes in to the lab where the scientist is translating the scrolls without him there. We get a brief glimpse of action and then Ando stops him. That's right, now the writers are just straight up teasing us. Anyway, Ando tells him to back up because they can't miss any detail. Thanks a lot, buddy. Where have you been the last few episodes?  Hiro is a master of the ancient art of Pout Fu Back at White Beard's camp, Hiro and Ando sneak in and rescue the Swordmaker, who reveals White Beard's real goal: to overthrow the Emperor of Japan using guns the Swordmaker showed his forces how to make. Kensei promises to destroy the guns and frees Yaeko's father. Then, we actually get to see some action! WooHoo! Even though it basically consisted of the same "block high, slash midsection" move repeated over and over, it's still something. Maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way; maybe it's just plain sad that I'm actually cheering the show for barely giving us a minor glimpse of a fight scene? My standards are apparently much lower than I thought. In the resulting escape, Hiro saves Yaeko from an assassin's bullet by teleporting them away; this of course leads to Yaeko discovering the truth about Hiro and who was really behind the mask in the cherry blossom orchard. She confesses her love for Hiro, and he almost doesn't give in to his desires. Finally though, he gives in and kisses her. Great, because they're together. Not so great because Peeping Kensei is playing Peeping Tom no more than twenty feet away and sees the whole thing. The scrolls end and Ando is left wondering what has happened to his friend. Unfortunately for Hiro, the end means being betrayed by Kensei. We've all been waiting for the moment that would end their friendship, and now it's here. Kensei knocks Hiro out and we see that Kensei's given Yaeko and her father over to the enemy forces. Be aggressive, B-E Aggressive Claire, in an effort to cover her lie from last episode, tries out for the cheerleading squad and gets shot down because apparently Debbie (the head cheerleader) is blind in addition to being a bitch. I mean, c'mon! She's friggin' hot! What high school does Claire attend where that alone doesn't get her on the squad?! Claire tells West that she didn't make the cut; West convinces her to get revenge by embarrassing Debbie in public. Is anyone else getting sick of this guy? I know I am. First he treats Claire like an a-hole, then suddenly she's all over him just because he can fly. Then, he actually encourages her to use her powers just to get some kind of petty teen payback. I can't wait for this guy to get killed (and believe me, it will happen). Debbie, drunk like a Hilton sister at an open bar, is busy hazing the new members of her squad (no, not in a sexy way like you'd want hot cheerleaders to), and Claire arrives and asks for a moment alone. Once they're away from the group, Claire asks Debbie to reconsider and let her on the team. Debbie refuses, and out of nowhere West appears out of the sky, grabs Claire, and drops her onto the pavement, horribly maiming her. So much for "I don't ever want to see you hurt." Debbie freaks out, as any normal person would upon seeing someone turned into asphalt jelly, and runs to get the cops, who arrive to find that not only is no one injured but that Debbie is drunker than Ted Kennedy on a Tuesday. Take a bow, Debbie. You'll be spending the next few weekends cozying up next to Judd Nelson and learning to rebel against your parents in detention. (Yeah, I know she got expelled, but I so rarely get a chance to make a Breakfast Club joke, I had to go for it.)  Nope, still no sign of my scruples. Claire: 1 , Elitist Cheerleader: 0. ...and I was hoping for a catfight. :( Mo & Mo Back at the Company, Mohinder is testing Monica to establish a baseline of her abilities. Monica performs a detailed gymnastics routine flawlessly and in perfect sync with the televised version. Good thing no one switched the tapes with a 3 Stooges video, or Mohinder would be wearing an eyepatch for the rest of the season. (*poke*) Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, woowoowooo! After seeing Monica's "muscle memory" in action, Bob takes Mohinder aside and gives him a vial containing a mutated version of the Shanti virus, something that Mohinder is very against. During their argument, Mohinder looks down and sees a name on one of Bob's folders: Adam Monroe. Bob tells Mohinder that there are some powers that need to be stopped, and gives Mohinder his task: shut Monica down. Mohinder calls Noah Bennett and refuses to experiment on people with powers. Noah finds out about Mohinder turning Molly over to them and tells Mohinder to go through with it. Wow, who knew that giving them Molly would come back and bite Mohinder in the ass? Oh yeah, that's right: EVERYBODY. Mohinder almost gives Monica the shot, but at the last second refuses to do it. He trashes the lab and stands up to Bob, which I'm sure we can all agree is probably not a good idea. The result? Mohinder gets a new partner "to make sure there aren't any more misunderstandings." That partner? None other than Nikki, apparently reformed and now working for the Company. Or is it Nikki? (cue dramatic music) Tea with Ivan Meanwhile in beautiful scenic Russia (aka beautiful scenic greenscreen) Noah Bennett looks up his old mentor to have a nice polite chat. "Polite" here meaning "break into his house, tie him to a chair and then torture him for information", of course. No wonder they don't have Company picnics...  In Soviet Russia, gun fires you. Ivan tries to convince Noah to rejoin the Company and makes him an offer to help. Noah, however, is not one to take the easy way out. You see, Ivan had a daughter who passed away, and Noah threatens to take the only thing that Ivan has left: his memories of her. Ivan finally caves in and tells Noah the location of the warehouse the paintings are in. In return, Noah kills him and makes it look like a home invasion gone wrong. What a nice guy. When they get to the warehouse, we get to see the rest of the paintings: a vial (just like the one Mohinder was given with the mutated Shanti virus); Nikki violently banging on a metal shutter or door; Mohinder with a broken nose pointing a gun, Noah Bennett dead on the floor. That can't be good. Mylar Begins In most movies, when you pick up a hitchhiker who also happens to be a serial killer, you're dead in the first ten minutes. God, how I wish this would happen here already. Maya and Sylar have a lovely little chat about being special, blah blah blah and Alejandro (or the male Michelle Rodriguez, as I like to call him), wakes up and puts an end to it. Maya and Alejandro argue about.... ...ok, seriously. I really can't be bothered to continue this portion. This part of the show sucks. Big time. It's poorly written, and so far completely unnecessary. I have theories about why they're even in the show (below) but right now they're just sucking up valuable airtime. Quick wrap-up: they cross the border, Maya uses her powers to get past the border patrol (something that Alejandro doesn't like), and Alejandro and Sylar fight about it later. Maya breaks it up and then once she's out of earshot, Sylar tells Alejandro his whole plan about how he's going to kill them both. Yeah, because that never backfires (just ask any Bond villain). Of course, Alejandro will most likely reveal later that he actually does speak English or something cliché like that and Sylar is going to be screwed. Peter Petrelli  Ok, when I ring the doorbell, we run like hell... a) she's also in the painting, and b) she's going to help Peter find Elle and "kill the bitch." How special for her. At this point, Peter really needs to reconsider who he's hooking up with. Once they arrive in Montreal, they find the building in the painting and surprise, surprise: it has the Godsend symbol over the door. Inside there's just piles and piles of antiques and junk and a note to Peter from someone named “Adam” (I'll give you two guesses what his last name is going to be) about how Peter was right and that the Company was after them. Still no key in the ignition though, as Peter stumbles around and can't remember a thing about his past. Have I mentioned that I hate the amnesia gimmick? Peter holds Caitlin close and wishes he knew what the future held, and badda bing! Peter unconsciously uses Hiro's powers and they're a year in the future. New York is deserted and there are evacuation notices everywhere. Something went horribly, horribly wrong. My theory?
Sorry, this part is for members only and may contain spoilers. If you'd like to read it, please LOG IN or REGISTER. Altogether, I'd give the episode a solid 5 out of 10. We finally got to see a little action (emphasis on “little”) in the Hiro storyline, Peter has actually left the pub in Ireland, and things are starting to come together in the paintings plotline. Unfortunately, this was still a really slow episode and there are just way too many cast members. The show feels really bulky, and because you're constantly shifting between all these characters, it feels like none of them are really being given the full development they should be. It's a lead-up episode, and as such should make more sense or become more relevant to the story as the episodes continue. It was obvious that they were doing a lot of foreshadowing tonight, I'm just really anxious to start seeing what it is exactly they're hinting at. Peter Sorensenis a part time reviewer and would like to have a "polite" chat with West. Thoughts? Opinions? Sudden need to defend a hit show in the midst of a crappy season? Post a comment below and let us know! Comments (23)
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