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Syndicate

Heroes: Four Months Ago
Monday, 12 November 2007

ImageHEROES
Four Months Ago
aka: "Maya's guide to peaceful conflict resolution"
by Peter Sorensen



In the eighth episode of season 2, the missing months between Season One and Season Two are finally filled in. Niki gets her Studio 54 action on, DL goes out like a punk, Peter Petrelli spends a lot of time in a little locked room of love and Nathan Petrelli masters his TwoFace impression.



It was amazing. It was stupendous. It was awe-inspiring. It was...

Ok, I'm sorry: it was a lot of people sitting around in a lot of rooms.

Not exactly the dangerous and exciting past shrouded in mystery that I hoped it would be, but then again, when is any show as good as I hope it will be?

Maybe I'm just being pessimistic.


Four Months Ago.
In the final moments of last seasons finale, Nathan flies Peter up into the sky that fateful night at Kirby Plaza. Tonight's episode picks up there, with the scenario that most of the fans have already assumed happened: as the Petrellis fly higher and higher, the radiation eminating from Peter begins to severely burn Nathan. Hoping to save his brother from a grisly fate, Peter leaps from his grasp. He explodes and the resulting shockwave knocks Nathan unconscious and he slowly falls downwards. Thankfully, Peter regains control of his powers after a good 'sploding, swoops in, saves Nathan, and takes him to the nearest hospital.

Unfortunately, Elle and Bob are waiting for him. Considering how Linderman was literally only killed moments prior to this, Bob isn't wasting any time getting right down to business, is he? And despite the loss of Molly Walker (who was rescued by Mohinder, also moments prior) Bob seems to be able to pinpoint the exact location of the Heroes at any given time with uncanny accuracy. Hmmmm...

Image
Best. Welcoming Committee. Ever.
Peter is revived back at the Company with Elle getting a little too familiar and the weirdest part is that Peter doesn't even really seem to mind. They've just met and Elle is climbing all over him, her nubile body rubbing against him, her fingers running through his hair, her hand on his arm...

...on second thought, I wouldn't mind either! Where do I sign up? Rrrrowrrr...

Bob, preying on Peters fear of hurting those around him, offers to cure Peter and remove his powers, and Peter accepts. Meanwhile, Mama Petrelli visits Kentucky Fried Nathan in the hospital and in true Angela Petrelli fashion, chooses the worst possible moment to break the bad news that Peter is missing, presumed dead. Way to comfort your son there, lady.

Despite Angela's protests (oh, now she decides to get motherly) Nathan inclines his hospital bed and sees the horribly scarred face from the explosion looking back at him in the mirror. Not a great day for the Petrellis, but it could have been a little better if not for one tiny little thing:

Apparently, no one in this hospital bothers to MEDICATE BURN VICTIMS. Nathan should be so hopped up on Morphine by then that he shouldn't be able to blink, let alone use his bed controls. It's not like he skinned his knee or had an upset tummy... half of his friggin' face was melted off by nuclear radiation! That's not something you can just treat with Advil, I would think.

Peter, now in his very own cell... oops, I mean "room", gets a well deserved haircut and meets the stranger in the cell next to his: a man named Adam, who looks suspiciously like Takezo Kensei (sarcasm).

In other parts of the world, D.L. survives the wound and the doctor informs Nikki that the bills have already been paid by none other than Company Bob. Man, that guy gets around! He quickly switches over to "blurt out all the information" mode and tells Nikki that her split personality disorder is her mind's way of dealing with her new powers and that she could still develop another personality (insert ominous foreshadowy music here). He offers to help her, but she'd have to leave her family and enter "the program". Nikki refuses, and Bob offers to put her on medication to limit her abilities.

South of the border, Alejandro is getting married to a whore. There is probably a better way to say that, but why mince words? The best part, however, is how stupendously idiotic Alejandro is about his future bride's... shall we say "proclivities"? Oh yeah, it's ok that your bride to be is grinding up on her recent ex-boyfriend. Oh, they're whispering and giggling in each others ears? Probably nothing. They're running off together in a very sudden and hormonally charged hurry? They're probably just going to check on the cake. Rrrrrright. Buy a clue, man!

Maya runs into Whorey McSlutington and the ExBoyfriend getting their Barry White mojo goin', flips out, and does the whole "runny mascara, evil oil of death" bit, inadvertantly killing the entire wedding party, minus Alejandro. WHY!!?? Why minus Alejandro!? Well, at least he probably got to keep all the superboss wedding gifts.


Image
For someone with split personalities, her tea parties suck.
Three Months Ago.
Nikki, DL, and Micah have settled down and returned to a semi-normal life. Well, I guess as normal a life as a drugged up superstrong psycho, a child technopath, and a wall-phasing ex-con can have, I suppose. After a particularly somber birthday party for Micah, Nikki decides that she doesn't like how she feels on the drugs and throws them down the drain.

Yeah, that's a good idea. I mean, what's the worse that could happen? Oh yeah, that's right: you could rip an entire room of people limb from limb with your bare hands. But, no. You go right ahead and chase that rainbow, lady.

Peter, still in his cell...oops, "room" endures a quaint little daily ritual: wake up, take pills, get zapped by creepy superhot chick, talk to weirdo with an obviously fake British accent in opposite cell, go to sleep. Fun, fun, fun. Mama Petrelli uses this time constructively by ruining Nathan's relationship with his wife and children by letting them think he's gone stark-raving-jumping-on-couches-crazy, proving once and for all what her super-power is: the ability to be a total f--king b--ch.


Two Months Ago.
After "Zero Weddings and Seventy Funerals" (starring Hugh Grant), Maya has turned to the only option a superpowered mass murder has: she becomes a nun. And in only two months to boot! That girl must be very, very pious, or the head of the nunnery was hard up for some hot latino girl lovin'. For my own personal enjoyment, I'm going with the latter.

Image
Why WOULDN'T you cheat on this guy?
Alejandro finds her and turns her into the police. Maya responds by doing something absolutely no one expects and flips out and does the "oil of death" thing again. Is this really all there is to her character? She's sweet and nice until she gets scared and then kills everyone around her with a weird virus kind of thing? That's it? Wow, I'm really glad they revealed that in this flashback or I wouldn't have caught it every other time in the season it's happened. Anyway, Alejandro discovers his own powers and together they run away. La-di-friggin-dah.

Across the country, D.L. has started work as a fireman, and receives a medal of honor for saving a little girl from a fire by using his powers to phase in and out. Of course, he uses his powers in full sight of the entire fire department and the majority of the surrounding neighborhood, but who cares? It's not like anyone's going to ask questions, right? Rrrrright. Nikki, meanwhile, meets her hot new split personality Gina, who commences to kick Nikki to the curb and head on down to L.A. to do a little dance, make a little love, and basically just "get down tonight".

Back at Hotel De La Compania, Peter finally realizes that the locked grey concrete room with bars on the windows that he's not allowed to leave isn't a suite at the Four Seasons. Duh, buddy. Adam/Kensei convinces Peter that the reason they're being held is to keep them from revealing themselves to the world and thereby "saving it".  Adam makes Peter a deal: break them out and Adam can cure Nathan.

One Month Ago.
Gina/Nikki runs off to L.A. to party her ass off, but D.L. tracks her down. The guys she's with takes a swing at D.L. who instantaneously phases to avoid the punch, then solidifies and punches the guy in the gut. Nikki regains control and D.L. starts to take her home when the boytoy returns, this time with a gun. He levels it at D.L.'s chest and fires, which brings to me the following point: D.L. can phase out in the event of a fist coming at his head, but he somehow doesn't have time to when some snivelling clubrat tries to "Tupac" him?  Weak.

Elsewhere, Peter semi-seduces Elle (booo, I want Veronica Mars skin) all the while pocketing his pills and flushing them when she leaves. After five days of not taking the pills, Peter's powers start to return and Adam convinces him to try to use them. Then, in one of the cooler effects of the season (which is sad), Peter phases through the wall between their cells and helps Adam/Kensei escape. They race to the hospital and Adam injects some of his own blood into Nathan's I.V. drip, healing him almost immediately.

The Haitian and Elle attack them as they're leaving the hospital and in the lamest setup of the season: Peter loses his shirt because Elle lights it one fire with her sparks, ends up in the shipping container because he's trying to escape, and ends up losing his memories because the Haitian wants to give him a brand new life to start over. Good thing the Haitian started to lose his powers after that because he's definitely getting fired.

So that's it. Nathan is healed but single, Peter is mindless and in a shipping crate, D.L. is worm food, and... wait a minute? Weren't there other characters on this show?

*sigh*

Due to the WGA Strike (I'm getting tired of saying that) this episode wasn't entirely finished and they needed to rewrite the remaining episodes in order to make the December 3rd episode into the season finale. Because of the shortened schedule and the WGA's rampant greed, here is what was supposed to be revealed this episode, which at this point, may never be revealed:
1. The circumstances surrounding Matt Parkman's move to New York. Was the baby really his or  
     did he leave his wife because she was pregnant with another man's child?

2. The Bennetts on the run; How HRG managed to safely move his family into hiding before the  
     Company found them.

 and by far the most important:

3. HOW THE HELL DID SYLAR SURVIVE BEING STABBED IN THE CHEST?
     Where has he been? How did Candace get involved?

Which leads us into the last three episodes of the season:

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I'm trying hard to enjoy myself for these last few episodes. The last two have definitely had a spark of what made Heroes so great in the first place and the pace is much better. Unfortunately, I can't help but notice the glaring flaws and removed scenes that are being caused by the chaotic climate in the writing industry and by the show's drastically reduced season.

All I can say is this: cherish these last few episodes, everyone. They may be the last ones for a very long time.








Peter Sorensen is a part time reviewer and is going back to his cell... I mean, "room" now.


Thoughts? Opinions? Threats Against the WGA? Post a comment below and let us know!
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